Here’s some eclectic things I’ve learned from Dr. Laura. Read, consider, learn and apply what is healthy for you and your ministry from some of her insights.1. Anything you hear second hand is not believable.
2. People don’t hear what you’re talking about, even when they are listening.
3. In order to disrupt relationships, guys use guns and knives; gals use other relationships.
4. Just because you’re in pain doesn’t make you right nor does it justify your hostile, angry, jealous or out-of-control feelings and/or actions.
5. People in stress often loose sight of the issue. Guiding them in such a way, no matter how well intended, is always a treacherous undertaking. It is, however, an undertaking of love.
6. People asking for advice—and going out of their way to get it—can and will despise the advice-giver in surprisingly hurtful and reactive ways.
7. Adults, because they are adults, are responsible for doing things in an adult-like mature manner. There are no exceptions.
8. Being responsible is never easy…but always right.
9. Stay focused and clear to facilitate ample understanding.
10. Not everything we do is done with full agreement of our feelings. Often our feelings must be ignored so as to do what is right. (See #9 above)
11. Don’t ever accept “betrayal.”
12. Guilt, fear, anxiety and loneliness will always be there to challenge your character and take control of your life. Whether it be sex, alcohol, or other addictions or compulsions, they all seek to take over and control your life. Don’t let them.
13. The Four “R”’s of a healthy life are remorse, responsibility, reconciliation, and renewal. The Four “R”‘s of an unhealthy life are resistance refusal, relapse, and repetition. The only difference between these two groups is choice.
14. Don’t be someone else. Be yourself. After all, isn’t it hard enough being yourself without trying to be someone else too?
15. Illness needs no repentance. Sin does.
16. The exercise of freedom must never supercede the necessity to observe the moral strictures of the Ten Commandments.
17. Completely sane adults can sometimes drive you crazy.
18. Whatever you do should be intended to make people stronger.
19. Quit denying that you’re wrong when you are wrong…no matter how many other people think you’re right and irregardless of whether you won’t admit you’re wrong.
20. “Help” is often a synonym for “let me intervene and totally destroy your life.”
21. When in overwhelming stress, slow down and get a hold of yourself.
22. Don’t act as if there were never any standards to excuse or justify current wrong or immoral behavior.
23. When considering consequences for wrongdoing, distinguish between those things which are one-time events and those which are part of an on-going process. The former is merely a mistake. The latter is a character deficit. Treat them accordingly.
24. Learn to recognize “Parent Moments.” The are times when the appropriate discipline is not corporal or sever punishment. Instead, they are opportunities to talk, share and mentor children relative to what is right and wrong, proper and improper, moral and immoral.
25. You can’t filter out the universe from people’s lives. Thus people must be equipped and strengthened, not isolated, from testing.
26. Slow down. Take a deep breath. You really don’t have to be reactive.
27. Continue building coping mechanisms. The best way to do it is to face the issues, experience the pain, and gain strength from the weakness and vulnerability of trial.
28. People will do anything to avoid pain, often at all costs.
29. Family is important. Children are most important. Therefore, always be your kids’ mom.
30. If you don’t want to follow the above rules, enjoy your neurotic life.
One final thought. No matter how good or many the rules, if God’s grace is not present, even the best rules can’t help. Thus the greatest rule is Jesus’ rule.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind’ and
‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV)
Thomas F. Fischer