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Five Toxic Beliefs

Thomas F. Fischer, M.Div., M.S.A.

Number 222

Toxic Belief #1:

You must meet certain standards of perfection to be a good person
and have the justification to feel good about yourself.

Those adhering to this false belief include those who...

a) fear failure;

b) are rigidly perfectionist;

c) driven to succeed at all costs;

d) manipulate others in order to achieve success;

e) will cause others to sacrifice for their success;

f) avoid healthy risks; and/or

g) sometimes engage in self-destructive behavior.

Toxic Belief #2:

You must have the approval of certain people in order to
have the right to feel good about yourself.

Those adhering to this false belief include those who...

a) fear rejection;

b) are driven to please others at all costs;

c) are overly-sensitive to criticism;

d) withdraw from others to avoid disapproval.;

e) live with an uncertainty of never knowing if they really can do something right; and/or

f) can't maintain intimate, trusting relationships because, if someone makes a mistake, how can it ever be forgiven?

Toxic Belief #3:

Anyone who fails, including myself, is unworthy
of love and deserves to be punished.

Those adhering to this false belief include those who...

a) are motivated by fear.

b) are driven to excellence in all they do; after all, their guilt will tolerate nothing less.

c) constantly look for ways to punish others; of course, some people need to be punished repeatedly for the same imperfection.

d) believe those who have not done wrong need to be punished; after all, it keeps them in line and in submissive control.

e) blame others for their failures;

f) must always be in control of every one and every thing around them; and/or

g) are threatened by creativity, spontaneity, and surprises--good and bad.

Toxic Belief #4:

I am what I am. I cannot change. It's hopeless.

Those adhering to this false belief include those who...

a) harbor feelings of shame, hopelessness and inferiority;

b) must put on a "perfect" facade to divert others from the real truth;

c) are prone to depression as they become increasingly passive about their circumstances;

d) feel isolated and alone;

e) refuse to talk, trust or feel; and/or

f) tend to discourage others with the same sense of hopelessness and despair.

Toxic Belief #5:

Jesus can't help me. God can't help me.

Those adhering to this false belief include those who...

a) doubt that God can forgive all their sins without any of their "help" or merit

b) can't believe they don't have to do everything right for God to love them.

c) seek to replace God by becoming their own gods.

d) seek a God to be an "Aladdin's Lamp" for their every wish.

e) are mired in the wages of sin including specifically guilt, fear, grief, loneliness, failure, unworthiness, and lack of identity.

Thomas F. Fischer  

 

For more insight see Chapter Six, "Conquering Fear" in Karen Randau's book
Conquering Fear. Dallas: Rapha Publishing,  pp.111-112.

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