- Those adhering to this false belief include those who…
- a) fear failure;
- b) are rigidly perfectionist;
- c) driven to succeed at all costs;
- d) manipulate others in order to achieve success;
- e) will cause others to sacrifice for their success;
- f) avoid healthy risks; and/or
- g) sometimes engage in self-destructive behavior.
Toxic Belief #2:
-
You must have the approval of certain people in order to
have the right to feel good about yourself. - Those adhering to this false belief include those who…
- a) fear rejection;
- b) are driven to please others at all costs;
- c) are overly-sensitive to criticism;
- d) withdraw from others to avoid disapproval.;
- e) live with an uncertainty of never knowing if they really can do something right; and/or
- f) can’t maintain intimate, trusting relationships because, if someone makes a mistake, how can it ever be forgiven?
Toxic Belief #3:
-
Anyone who fails, including myself, is unworthy
of love and deserves to be punished. - Those adhering to this false belief include those who…
- a) are motivated by fear.
- b) are driven to excellence in all they do; after all, their guilt will tolerate nothing less.
- c) constantly look for ways to punish others; of course, some people need to be punished repeatedly for the same imperfection.
- d) believe those who have not done wrong need to be punished; after all, it keeps them in line and in submissive control.
- e) blame others for their failures;
- f) must always be in control of every one and every thing around them; and/or
- g) are threatened by creativity, spontaneity, and surprises–good and bad.
Toxic Belief #4:
-
I am what I am. I cannot change. It’s hopeless.
- Those adhering to this false belief include those who…
- a) harbor feelings of shame, hopelessness and inferiority;
- b) must put on a “perfect” facade to divert others from the real truth;
- c) are prone to depression as they become increasingly passive about their circumstances;
- d) feel isolated and alone;
- e) refuse to talk, trust or feel; and/or
- f) tend to discourage others with the same sense of hopelessness and despair.
Toxic Belief #5:
-
Jesus can’t help me. God can’t help me.
- Those adhering to this false belief include those who…
- a) doubt that God can forgive all their sins without any of their “help” or merit
- b) can’t believe they don’t have to do everything right for God to love them.
- c) seek to replace God by becoming their own gods.
- d) seek a God to be an “Aladdin’s Lamp” for their every wish.
- e) are mired in the wages of sin including specifically guilt, fear, grief, loneliness, failure, unworthiness, and lack of identity.
- Thomas F. Fischer
Conquering Fear. Dallas: Rapha Publishing, pp.111-112.